Health Tips

Anger is something that millions and millions of people deal with everyday. For some, anger happens only after a specific situation — like being cut off by another driver on the road, or experiencing bad service over the phone. For others, anger is a consistent aspect of their lives, affecting everything from work to home to even their love life. Thankfully, it doesn’t have to be this way — anger is something that can be overcome.

Unfortunately, it’s difficult to get people to see that anger is something that can be conquered and overcome on their own — which is why confronting a friend about anger can be a good thing. Yet if we approach our friends the wrong way about their anger problem, it can damage and even destroy the friendship that we’re trying so hard to protect in the first place.

There’s a few steps you need to take to make sure that you are approaching your friend the right way about their anger issues.

First, you don’t want to attack them. Making statements that are filled with blame and anger is the wrong way to approach the problem. This will not only make the other person become even more enraged, they will no longer be willing to hear what you have to say at all. This is a mistake that many people make when trying to confront their friends about an anger issue, and it’s a mistake that has destroyed numerous friendships that could have been maintained with a better approach.

Next, you do not want to make any ultimatums. Saying “If you don’t stop this, I’m going to stop seeing you” is a recipe for disaster of the highest order — ultimatums often backfire because the person automatically sees you as part of the problem instead of being part of the solution.

Instead of making ultimatums, you can make statements about how the person’s anger makes you feel. Keep any statements you make as neutral as possible — saying that it hurts you when they yell is different from criticizing the other person about how they yell at all the time. Absolute statements are not only unfair, but the other person will immediately see them as attack statements.

Finally, you want to set up an agreeable plan to help the other person overcome their anger problem. An agreeable plan is one that the other person fully agrees with and feels comfortable about implementing. Any attempt at a plan should include the other person’s opinion at all times rather than being simply something that you want to see the other person do. In addition, you will also want to offer your help as much as possible — setting up a plan that requires them to give one hundred percent of their energy without offering one hundred percent of your support is simply unfair.

All things considered, confronting your friend about their anger is something that requires plenty of patience and understanding. If you keep these steps in mind as you begin helping your friend, you should have everything you need to help your friend overcome their anger over time!